No Topic Thread

Smaug · 2 February 2016 01:32PM

Is he in the Hall yet? Very skilled compared to some of the others.

punkin · 7 February 2016 12:25AM

Kids keep wanting to pay the floor is lava. I wanna play the walls are lava so they'll stop fucking touching my fucking freshly painted fucking walls.

punkin · 7 February 2016 07:18PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZ8JMYuaTr4

Kapea · 8 February 2016 05:56AM

The only thing funnier than watching noobs trying to surf is watching weekend warriors trying to launch and retrieve their boats at the boat ramp.

dad · 8 February 2016 08:51PM

These are a regular sight my locale.

Malted · 14 February 2016 11:45AM

Worst brew ever. Not just the botched run today but the whole feckin thing was crap.

Had my first crack at a UJSM. Instead of corn and sugar, I did corn and all grain wort (no boil - to keep the enzymes active). I thought the 50L of wort @ 1.060 would chew into the corn. I have powdered enzymes (alpha amylase IIRC) some where but could not find them. I bought a 20kg bag of cracked animal feed corn and tipped boiling water over 10kg and mixed it up; in hindsight it did not gelatinise. 1 kg of acidulated malt through the mill and chucked in the fermenter - yeah the lacto got going big time. Let it sit overnight to cool and let the enzymes do their thing and it was fermenting/bubbling away the next day. Rehydrated some EC118 and pitched into it (wild ferment was active by then). Chucked a couple of kilos of table sugar at it. It was excitingly fruity on the noise but undeniably vomitus. Meh, sourdough is like that yeah, keep it going.

After one week it was down to 1.030. Gave it a good old stir. 1 week later still at 1.030. I didn't do an iodine test on it but it is obvious without that. Decided now was the time to add a 3"refill port to my keg boiler. One bimetal hole saw turned into three: purchased, stuffed, replaced, stuffed, replaced, stuffed (I miss my drill press!). Got onto eBay and bought a TCT hole saw but had to wait 10 days or so for it to arrive so threw another couple of kilos of sugar at the fermenter. Should have thrown a heck of a lot more sugar at it because total volume was 80L. Total ferment time about four weeks. It was so 'fruity' that the missus would yell out 'Pfwoar'!' inside the house every time I lifted the fermenter lid in the garage.

TCT hole was great, ripped the hole through it. Stick welding the flange on had a few issues - a couple of holes blown through and some accidental, wild stab at the flange gasket face left some weld where the gasket seats (sanded it down but the groove is not the same).

Ran the wash today and the glass disc on the view port cracked multiple times. Stopped the run and sanded the weld on the flange face even more. Didn't tighten it as much this time and it just leaked a drip here and there rather than breaking. Had three 4" bubble tee's and super condenser before the 2" long shotgun. Wash was about 4% alc/vol. Had to drain the water out of the super condenser because even without water flowing into it, it stayed in full reflux. Left it unattended for too long and ended up with puke in two plates. Got about 300mls of product and gave up on it and tipped the rest of the wash rather than running it.

Grabbed the other 10kg of cracked corn to discover that it too is full of beetles (some of my barley malts have suffered the same assault). They have even munched on the grain in some wax block, rat poison I had in the garage! Took half a bucket (tipped the rest in the bin) and fished out as many beetles as I could. Attempted to put the hot backset onto the corn and ended up with some of it on my foot (I live in the tropics - shoes are only for when one is at work). Then I was stomping around with an icepack on my foot. Boiled a big old pot of corn and backset until it was proper gooey. Diluted it with cool water and dumped it on the remaining corn and yeast cake in the fermenter. I have run out of base malt so will just have to use sugar as per the UJSM recipe. I was hoping the malt would make it great rather than ok but that is out the window now. Couldn't be stuffed cleaning & breaking it down tonight, I still have to get the broken glass out of the boiler.

It has been one Shiite thing after another over the course of a month and I have nothing to show for it. I would like to stay positive and say I learnt some good lessons but my foot hurts. End rant.

Edit: I almost forgot about the bit where the earth lead melted on the element and the column went live. It is not cool getting a 240v zap from your still!

FloridaCracker · 14 February 2016 01:00PM

Damn, if it could go wrong, it did!

On thing I don't do anymore is stir after the initial pitch of the yeast as it gives bad shit an extra doorway into your vessel.

I'm sure we all have a story like yours where everything goes to shit. Almost guaranteed that the next one will be awesome.

punkin · 14 February 2016 05:09PM

Bad day! Bad, Bad day.

crozdog · 16 February 2016 09:37AM

sometimes the end result of a bad day is amazing product and you just know there is absolutely no way that you will ever reproduce it.

other times its just crap and you already know you never want to attempt it

jacksonbrown · 16 February 2016 09:55AM

I've cooked dinners like that.
If only I remembered what I did...

punkin · 7 March 2016 01:55AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwCPJ0WFM88

Mickiboi · 7 March 2016 07:51AM

@Malted shit mate stay away from black cats, ladders and VW's with DSG gear boxes.

Mickiboi · 7 March 2016 07:52AM

And why did your column become live? No ELCB or RCD in the circuit?

Malted · 8 March 2016 11:14AM

@Mickiboi said: And why did your column become live? No ELCB or RCD in the circuit?

I currently live in the NT. ELCB / RCD is fancy, pooncy shiite from those southern namby pambies. At least that is how it seems to be up here.

Mickiboi · 8 March 2016 11:15AM

Ok.......see you in heaven.

Malted · 8 March 2016 11:16AM

@Kapea said: watching weekend warriors trying to launch and retrieve their boats at the boat ramp.

Hey, I resemble that remark!

jacksonbrown · 8 March 2016 07:29PM

They think shoes are over rated in the NT

punkin · 8 March 2016 08:34PM

If it hadn't been for the pushbike i'd be going into my 6th month without shoes.

jacksonbrown · 8 March 2016 08:58PM

It wasn't that long ago I was down you way and had to roll the swag out on the snow.

punkin · 8 March 2016 09:24PM

Yes, ugh boots in the winter at home or camping. Shoes on the motorcycle and thongs at the shops or the pub during winter. aug/sept through to june it's thongs only (except the stupid pushbike)