No Topic Thread

punkin

Why working from home is both awesome and HORRIBLE @ The Oatmeal

punkin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNSIymy_Goc

punkin

jacksonbrown

Took me a while to get that.
The hangover one is classic

punkin

FullySilenced

i get that advertising shit in the mail regularly... just ignore it

punkin

Make an order with SDAU and you'll get some more. :D

Probably a bottle opener too, open the wallet a bit and there may be a hat or towel.

Smaug

Happy with the quality Punkin?

punkin

Yes they are great. MOQ was manageable, price was excellent and service was outstanding.

The only thing i wish was they had black ink. The quote was with blue ink and while skyping i asked for a change to black and the request was missed until it was in production.

Who uses blue pens nowadays? standard is black and most gov forms here say must be black.

FullySilenced

All you gift products look good Punkin... you do a fine job... i do get pens and datebooks in the mail all the time with the company LOGO and name sampled on them... haven't ordered any pens though in years... last one came in with a rubber end to use on your cell phone to type with i do use it daily

punkin

It's cheap promotion with stuff thats used daily and really, i just like to give people presents cause i know how chuffed a little unexpected gift makes me. :)>-

FullySilenced

;) How true..

punkin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3t6LxN7Qzto

olskoolsoulja

Black ink was needed because photocopiers had trouble with blue. That was last century , the goverment hasnt caught up. Dealing with the nsw goverment in March I had to fill in a form to get a application form !

dad

In my sector they want everything signed in Blue to prove it is an original signature.

And now we go to digital signatures. I have to buy the secure digital signature app for U.S. Customs, oh, surprise, the FAA has a different company provide theirs.

punkin

punkin

The new slavery

Kapea

jacksonbrown

Not that I buy it but the obvious counter is that the article has it's cause and effect arse about.

jacksonbrown

Here's a better explanation.

punkin

Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1.Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

1. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

2. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

3. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

4. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

5. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

12. Glibido: All talk and no action.

13. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

14. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

16. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Previously, the Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners were:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4.esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

1. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

2. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

3. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

4. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavoured mouthwash.

5. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

6. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

7. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

8. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

9. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

10. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

11. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

12. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

jacksonbrown

Seems Mensa are great at insulting people but not so good at counting?!?

Kapea

I've found them to be mostly self-congratulatory.
"Yay for us with the giant brains!"

jacksonbrown

Just compensating for they social skills proly

punkin

I just thought the words were funny. Didn't think to judge the authors.

punkin

A man boarded an aeroplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized that she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “business trip or pleasure?”

She turned, smiled and said, “business, I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of Australia Convention in Brisbane."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your business at this convention?”

“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”

“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are they?”

“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it's Scotsmen who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina are the Australians.

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name.”

“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto McTavish but my friends call me Cobber".

punkin

19 Times Australians Confused The Hell Out Of Everyone On Tumblr @ BuzzFeed

punkin

Grandpa of the year

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for lollies, bickies, all sorts of things. The grandpa is saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long, easy boy." The boy has another outburst and she hears the grandpa calmly say : "It's okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there."

At the checkout the little horror is throwing items out of the shopping cart. Grandpa says again in a controlled voice, "William, William, relax mate, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes, stay cool William."

Very impressed, she goes outside to where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She says: "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."

"Thanks," says the grandpa, "but I am William. This little bastard's name is Kevin."

punkin

Picked up a new 22LR today. i wanted one with a threaded barrel in case i ever moved to New Zealand where silencers are legal ;)

I ended up with a near new CZ 452 (only shot by a little old lady at church on Sundays) and a new Leopold 3-9 x 40 duplex.

Very sweet little rig and looking forward to a weekend soon to sighting it in with some subsonics.

Not my rifle but the same (except it's illegal to have silencers until i move to NZ)

jacksonbrown

Time for a maglight ;)